any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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