Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
