I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
