you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
