you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
