24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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