The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
