Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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