At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
