I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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