Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
