Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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