They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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