my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
