i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
