Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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