You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
