idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
