But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Boobs are out for the taking
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
