Non-Jews are for practice
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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