Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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