Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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