are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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