I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize