We're facebook friends in real life
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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