Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
