All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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