So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
