I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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