Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
