sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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