I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize