sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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