Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize