sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
