i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
