i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You need Xanax blowdarts
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
