I could have mohawked her pubes.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
