I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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