I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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