After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
