I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
