I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
