South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
