I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
