Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
