im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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