you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
