Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
