My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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