i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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