I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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