getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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