I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
