Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
