Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize