You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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