i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize