All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
