Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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